Archive for the 'Movie Reviews' Category

The Eagle vs Centurion

If you are a fan of “Roman” movies, you might consider yourself lucky this year. Both Centurion and The Eagle have focused on the fate of the IX Legion (that’s ninth legion for the Roman numeral impaired).

The only piece of reliable historical information is that in second century AD, this legion was removed from the legion list. It was stationed in Britain, hence novelists ran wild with the idea that the whole legion perished in the Northern highlands (i.e. today’s Scotland). No amount of recent evidence about the Ninth appearing in the Rhine region has been deemed adequate so that storytellers move to greener pastures.

You could view the the movies in succession (like I did) starting with Centurion and watching the Eagle next (telling yourself, it’s now 9 years later). In Centurion, you witness the slaughter of Rome’s heavy infantry by the Pictish tribes and the hunt for the few Romans that survived. Which explains why no one knows what happened to the Ninth.

Except that in The Eagle, some survivors have actually set themselves in the highlands. One changed his name from Marcus Barbutus Ridiculus to the simpler “Guern”! So you see how it all comes together … the quest for simpler names.

The Eagle deals with the quest for the Holy Gr… I mean, the Ninth’s Eagle. One man and his slave go where no (Roman) man has gone before and came back to tell the tale. In short, the Eagle is recovered and delivered to the Senate’s British branch (preposterous last scene).

So what’s my recommendation?
Should you see one or the other, or maybe both? The Eagle is the less annoying one by far. Except for the testudo formation in Act I and the Senate branch, the movie is generally true to the period.

Centurion, on the other hand, is basically a horror movie where everyone is dressed in rags (except in the opening battle where the legionaries still wear armor). These Romans drop four letter words every few lines and the Picts are mostly mute (especially Olga’s character). Do not expect any historical accuracy beyond the costumes… I mean rags.

I’d say that HBO’s ROME is still a better choice in terms of character development, intrigue, and overall “historical goodies”.

Conan finally close

Conan’s release date has been set for August and the good news it’s in 3D.

Of course, fans of Robert E. Howard have been dissecting the casting choice of Jason Momoa for the last year or so.

Looking at the poster, however, I felt the chills of this being a REAL Conan movie. The teaser trailer below isn’t bad either.

On a side note, there’s an amazing community of Conan (and online RPGs) fans, at Conan.com!

TRON Legacy review

I saw TRON Legacy last night and I still see some of the scenes in my head. I guess I’m an 80s child.

For some much needed perspective, check the Lightbikes scene from the original TRON (1982). I’ve played Snake a few times but it is far from my favorite retro game. I’ve always preferred the tactical games and fantasy RPG’s that came out in the 90s. Yet, watching this scene makes for some Snake on steroids fun.

Now compare it to the modern take. Frankly, the lightbike scene is not even close to being an effective adrenaline rush. Same as modern games, it’s not about player skill anymore. It’s about effects. Which is saying a LOT about how games have changed. Instead of games of reflex like Pong and Snake, kids nowadays play Assassin’s creed and WoW – button mashing which rarely makes a big difference.

Back to the movie. This time around we get an improved story and somewhat better acting, courtesy of Jeff Bridges. Olivia Wilde is very easy on the eyes. The main character can be anyone from the audience, which I guess is the idea.

Verdict: Watch the movie but keep in mind it will PLAY a lot better as a video game!

Uwe Boll outrage

Uwe Boll has done another movie, this time he hasn’t massacred a video game but history itself. The movie is about Auschwitz.

It seems Uwe is hellbent on keeping the title Worst Movie Director Ever and The Guardian confirms it:

Uwe Boll, who has been described as the world’s worst film director and a “schlockmeister”, said he felt it was time to present the Nazis’ crimes in their “full horror” in his film Auschwitz.

Trailer for Auschwitz (not recommended):

Dino De Laurentiis RIP

dino de laurentiisDino De Laurentiis, one of greatest film producers of all time, has died on Wednesday at 91. According to this, he has produced over 500 films, including Fellini’s “La Strada” and “Nights of Cabiria” – he has received Oscars for both.

He produced cult classics such as “Serpico” (1973), “Three Days of the Condor” (1975), “King Kong” (1976), “Blue Velvet” (1986) and “Hannibal” (2001).

Yet, his most memorable appearance for me was on the B-side of my Conan the Barbarian – Collector’s Edition DVD. I found the whole production back story fascinating, especially the hiring of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

To paraphrase Mao
, Dino has let a thousand flowers blosssom. Rest in peace.

P.S. Speaking of Conan, you must check out Conan’s soundtrack, Dino has hit the jackpot hiring Basil Poledouris.

Review: Solomon Kane

Solomon Kane is a character created by Robert E. Howard. However, unlike Conan, he has remained a cult “classic”, being more of an adventure hero.

It looks like the movie
will follow a similar trajectory. It has been released in Europe, but it’s less and less likely it will get to screens in the USA. Of course, it will eventually end up on DVD (and video-on-demand), so you still be able to see it.

The movie starts with a great scene
where Solomon Kane is going after the gold, as a typical pirate. Much to his surprise, the gold is “guarded” by the Reaper who has come to claim Solomon’s soul. Obviously, his soul was damned for his many crimes.

Solomon manages to escape and retreats to a monastery. This is the new Solomon Kane, who has repented and wants nothing more but peace. We wouldn’t have a movie, if everyone got what they wanted, so Solomon is thrown into the world and forced to confront violence.

I wouldn’t go into spoilers but the story arc is very interesting and paints Solomon’s childhood in a harsh light.

It’s a nice little movie, with a budget that’s probably 10% of Prince of Persia’s. James Purefoy does an amazing job, as always. If you haven’t seen him in Rome, you should definitely do so.

Sidenote: If you’re a fan of the Diablo games by Blizzard, you gonna love it. It plays a lot like the Diablo movie that’s in the works!

New York I Love You

I recently saw New York, I Love You and I was really impressed by one of the 12 stories that make up this movie “anthology”.

So if you’re renting it (or downloading it), make sure you pay special attention to Ethan Hawke and Maggie Q. Ethan’s monologue is a treat! Gwyneth Palthrow is OK as well.

maggie q new york i love you

The Wave (Die Welle) review

The Wave is an amazing little gem of a movie. A friend of mine suggested we go see it…

A German movie about autocracy (dictatorship)? Sure, sign me up. There’s just one thing that would make this movie better… set it on a German U-boat during WWII. Alas, we can’t have every German movie on a U-boat like my favorite Das Boot.

The premise of the movie is quite simple – take a group of high-school students, dress them uniformly, drill them, and voila, you end up with a true brown (black) shirt movement from 1930s (a.k.a. Fascism). The movie is based on a book that is based on a true story that happened in California, not Germany. The moral of the story is that it could happen anywhere with the right ingredients.

In terms of filmmaking, the movie is very solid. I could imagine it done with an even smaller budget in true Dogma style, without losing much of its appeal. It’s definitely worth checking out.

Sasha Grey admits to 200 movies

Sasha Grey recently starred in the indie movie The Girlfriend Experience. We now learn from her interview for CNBC that she did 200 “movies”… (straight-to-cd releases).

No wonder TGE was a bit of let-down for me, Sasha’s dead-pan performance is a result from her being overworked!


Great movies

I was lying in bed thinking about great movies that I revisit a lot. So what’sthe first line that comes to mind… No objectivity whatsoever!

Conan The Barbarian
Amazing soundtrack and little dialogue to distract you from the imagery/music

Das Boot
The only war movie that runs close to 4 hours and I still feel it was cut short

The Engish Patient
Walter Murch took an year to patch this movie together and I’m still confused after seeing it for the fifth time.

Lawrence of Arabia
Every time someone tells me I’m the most arrogant person they know, I check out Lawrence to make sure I’m still a dwarf (albeit standing on the shoulders of a giant)

American Movie
I think of Mark whenever I feel I’m giving 110% and still failing miserably.

The Producers
When I was a kid I dreamed of meeting Mel Brooks because he’ll recognize me as his rightful heir… the time is running out

What’s your reason
for viewing a movie again and again?

Must-see Transformers

Now, this isn’t a review of Transformers 2… I haven’t seen it myself yet.

I have seen part one and it was typical teenage fair. In typical Michael Bay tradition, he amped it up in the sequel. The most obvious result is that Megan Fox is SO sexy, it hurts my eyes.

megan fox transformers

That’s her at the LA Premiere of Transformers
… The only way for Michael Bay to go further will be to have Megan Fox go topless in T3!

Review: How to Lose Friends & Alienate People

lose friends  alienate peopleDon’t worry! How to Win Friends and Influence People is not essential reading in order to enjoy this movie.

The movie is based on a memoir by British writer Toby Young. So you could say, this is a TRUE story. Or rather, it would’ve been, if the the script writer didn’t change the memoirs almost completely… which is an irony itself.

The plot is straight-forward
: Sidney Young, a small time journalist, goes to New York City. His task is to cover the world of celebrities. In order to keep his job, he has to do a favorable article about Sophie Maes (sexy Megan Fox even without makeup).

Sidney is attracted to Sophie and all the glitz. However, when Sophie is high and he has a shot, he … well, misses.

The movie has a few funny moments but it goes too many times from romantic comedy to satire and back again. The only redeeming feature is that we get to see Megan Fox wet and almost nude.

Review: The Girlfriend Experience

the girlfriend experienceThe Girlfriend Experience is the new Soderbergh movie which premiered at Sundance.

The movie is definitely low-budget (rumor puts it at less than two million) and some of the scenes can be improved with better lighting or better camera locations.

One of the most talked about “features” is the lead character, a high-end escort by the nickname Chelsea, who is played by real-life pornstar Sasha Grey.

Now, I can understand the attraction of a A-star shooting a hot, sex scene. But I don’t think it works the other way around. Sasha’s face is flat, her tone is monotonous… and frankly, she’s not even sexy.

Shockingly, Sascha is the only professional actress in the movie … the others could be people from the street (or Soderbergh’s less-known friends).

The majority of the scenes deal with Sasha Grey listening to a confession from a “boyfriend” paying for the girlfriend experience. It’s incredibly boring and doing it over and over again doesn’t make it better.

In short, the movie could only be viewed as a sort of an exercise for Soderbergh. If you’re interested in Sasha, there are better “titles” out there. If you’re interested in a coherent movie with at least one professional actor, same thing applies.

Review: Tobruk

tobruk reviewIt’s been a while since I’ve seen a movie coming from Eastern Europe with decent production values. And I’m not talking about the crap-o-rama coming from Nu Image.

Tobruk is a solid war movie. I’m not using the term drama here because it’s next to non-existent. Some reviewers have attributed it to lack of action scenes. Not so.

Tons of TNT have apparently been used to recreate the battle of Tobruk. Yet, I couldn’t care less if anyone from the section (about 10 men) dies or lives.

Part of the reason is we don’t get a lot of background on them, e.g. protagonist Liebermann wants to open a bookstore when the war ends…

This kind of shallow characterization is one reason why the movie seems to go for hours, when in fact, it’s just a bit over the bare minimum (at 100 minutes). Maybe if you’re writing a thesis on squad-level tactics, you could put the movie in your footnote.

I’m not going to ruin the “suspense” by describing the last scene but it felt anti-climatic and cliché.

To sum up, the production values are what sets this movie apart. When you look at some of the desert cinematography, you feel this could be The English Patient or Lawrence of Arabia. Unfortunately, the similarities end there.

Review: Personal Effects

personal_effectsPersonal Effects starts with much confusion (e.g. who’s the narrator/protagonist) and ends with a simplistic happy end.

So is there a meaty middle part?

Here’s the plot: Ashton’s character has lost his twin sister in a violent crime and he’s having a tough time recovering from it.

Michelle’s character is similarly struck by her husband’s being shot to death.

Being a MILF (in the parlance of our times), requires her to be a mother (of a a deaf/mute teenager). Michelle’s son becomes the link between the two. This guy makes an unlikely Cupid and I couldn’t find anything likable about him.

In short, Michelle and Ashton fall in love… and the only twist is that the son (Cupid) ends up in jail.

I hope I’m not ruining the surprise factor (there is none), since both Michelle and Ashton are type-cast and regardless of the context (recovery from losing a loved one), the movie does play like an extra long version of MILF hunter.

Review: Killshot

killshot mickey rourkeI saw Killshot for one reason only – Mickey Rourke. After his acclaimed performance in The Wrestler, he has made an impressive comeback. So has he the Midas touch too?

The short answer – NO. Long answer is NO because a good actor needs a lot more than just good acting to make a come back. He needs a good plot, a good director… the list goes on.

At least on surface, Killshot has a good plot. After all, it’s based on Elmore Leonard’s book by the same name.

Mickey plays a Toronto hitman who messes his last job and has little choice but to take an unlikely partner – Richie Nix (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) – a petty thief and extortionist.

The two are seen by a couple going through divorce and in Mickey’s character’s world that means a death sentence. The couple is supposed to have their own problems but they are so cliche that one is forced to look for entertainment in Joseph Gordon-Levitt performance who chews the scenery both literally and metaphorically.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Monty Python are one of the prime examples of indie cinema. Look at this episode and tell me it cannot be shot on shoestring budget.

No fancy lighting, the camera is static (no dolly)… the list goes one but you don’t think about production values. You think about how a “farcical aquatic ceremony” cannot be the basis of a government system. Hilarious!

Review: Arn: The Knight Templar

arn knight templarThe Knight Templar has such a descriptive title it’s really difficult to mistake the movie for something it is not.

Yet, I find it amazing that the forum at imdb is full of people whose expectations were not met. Some expected more battles, others expected more love scenes…

Part of the reason is that the movie is based on the books by Jan Guillou – the so called Crusader trilogy.

The movie tries to stay close to the book but with a meager budget of just over $30 million, it falls a lot shorter than say … Kingdom of Heaven. At the same time, it’s the highest budget for a Swedish movie, so the expectations are high.

In short, the plot follows a familiar arc. Arn is a nobleman’s son. He falls from a watchtower and his parents make a vow that if he survives, they’ll send him to do God’s work. When he does recover, he is sent to a monastery where he meets a monk who has returned from the Holy Land. He gets his martial training at the monastery (duh).

When he falls in love with a fair maiden
(not sure if she was virgin though), he is excommunicated for impregnating her (true) and sleeping with her sister (false). On he goes to Jerusalem to join the Knights Templar.

While thus serving God, he meets Saladin (incredible stuff) and by getting to know the enemy, he is able to predict Saladin’s next attack. So he leads a crusader party and stages an ambush in a narrow pass. THE END.

If you’re into medieval fantasy
, this isn’t a movie for you. Same advice goes for people with ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), there’s a single battle scene at the end of the movie. So the core audience for the movie remain those who have read the Crusader trilogy.

Review: RocknRolla

rocknrollaGuy Ritchie has finally divorced Madonna, so let’s see if the curse has been lifted.

A bit of a disclosure: I’m a big fan of Guy and I love Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch.

I haven’t seen Cast Away and I don’t intend to. Finally, I didn’t understand Revolver no matter how many explanations were posted on this very site!

Back to the main attraction: RocknRolla delivers on the promise of London gangsters, and more London gangsters. Admittedly, they’re not as tough as Brick Top or Mickey but Guy has done a nice job of providing some variety.

The characters are interesting and likable too – especially Gerard Butler’s and Thandie Newton’s. In fact, a femme fatale is much welcome addition to the gangster movie. Some of the side characters are cliche – but I guess it’s to be expected since it’s Guy’s third movie covering the same ground.

The plot has taken a step back as well. It’s convoluted with a few side plots that act as leaking steam valves – the trains slows to a crawl and the audience starts looking around for any OTHER source of entertainment.

Overall, if you’re a Guy Ritchie fan, it’s a must see. However, expect that after seeing it ONCE, you’ll feel a powerful urge to revisit Lock, stock and Snatch. I saw Snatch 7 or 8 times when it came out. I expect to go into double digits now!

Review: Elegy

Elegy is based on Philip Roth’s The Dying Animal. First off, I’m a big fan of Philip Roth and I also like Ben Kingsley and Penélope Cruz.

If you hate any of these three, you are better off going to another movie! Ben Kingsley carries the whole movie and you can find hardly a frame where he’s not in. Another word of warning, there’s a lot of skin the movie. Ben Kingsley looks OK for a sixty-year-old guy but there are also Penélope Cruz breasts.

Moving on to the movie itself… Ben Kingsley is an aging intellectual (professor, talk-show host, etc.) who is hitting on a different student each semester. He’s careful. He waits for the END of said semester and then holds a cocktail party. Obviously, his trick works flawlessly with years of practice.

With that kind of an attitude, it’s hardly surprising Ben’s characters is deeply cynical and doesn’t believe in LOVE (capitalized for added effect). So when Penélope Cruz enters his exquisitely-calibrated trap, he hardly expects to see her again – after the SEX, of course.

As luck (I mean Philip) would have it, Penélope Cruz comes back but Ben’s character fails to appreciate the change that has occurred.

Overall, the movie poses a lot more questions that it answers – especially about age, and change of old habits. I wouldn’t be surprised if the movie gets an Oscar nod.




Custom Search